"Don't be a dick"

In the summer of 2004, I spent about two weeks with some of my really good friends and their dads in Philmont, New Mexico.  For those of you who aren't aware, Philmont is the location of what has become Mecca for all Boy Scouts (haha, yeah, I'm an Eagle Scout).  It's a high adventure camp that covers roughly 215 square miles of the Rocky Mountains in northern New Mexico, and is some of the most beautiful expanse I've ever seen in my life.  It is impossible not to feel at peace and one with the world when amidst such grandeur.  I can only pray that someday I’ll be able to return.

While there, scouts spend 11 days hiking through the backwoods of the Rockies, carrying everything they need on their backs.  There are no computers, no cell phones, no ipods.  You are completely segregated from the world as we know it now, alone with the 11 other people on your crew and nature.  With all your food and equipment, your packs can weigh anywhere from 50 to 80 lbs.  Figure in the high elevations, terrain, and sometimes poor conditions, along with the fact that you’re hiking between 7 and 11 miles a day, and you can imagine how strenuous it can be at times.

So at the end of day seven, with about 75 miles traversed and a mountain side-hiked that morning, our crew was sitting around cooking and relaxing.  In addition to the seven 18 to 20- year-old scouts in our crew, we had five dads in their late 40s and 50s.  Naturally the trek to date had been harder on the dads than it had been on us, but they weren’t the type to let it get to them.  However, while relaxing, one of them made mention of how glad they were that they had a knee brace.

“Boy I’m glad I have this thing to help support me.  I can’t really play tennis or basketball anymore, but at least I’m still able to come out and enjoy this.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what I’d be doing without mine either,” said another dad.  “This thing’s a real life saver.”

“I didn’t want to bring one, but my wife snuck it into my bag before we left and boy I’m sure glad she did,” responded another.

Looking around the dads, it seemed that every one had some sort of knee brace or sleeve to help them, and they were all gushing over them.  That’s when I spoke up.

“Boy I’m glad I’ve got my 20-year-old knees.  Yep, don’t know what I’d do if it weren’t for these 20-year-old knees.”

“Fuck You Jim!” one of the quieter and more reserved dads suddenly exclaimed, shocking and getting a laugh out of all the boys.  “Fuck you!”

It was clear he didn’t mean it in a mean or malicious way, for he’s not that type of person, though he and the rest of the dads made it apparent that my joke was ‘not appreciated.’  We made it through the rest of the trek, said our goodbyes to Philmont, and returned home. 

That fall, upon returning to K-state, I signed up for my hall’s flag football team.  And on one fateful October evening while playing, I hyper-extended my left knee and torn my ACL and meniscus.  After being misdiagnosed as merely a strain, I went the next year expecting it to get better.  Finally over Christmas break last year I broke down and saw an orthopedic surgeon who informed me of the bad news, and performed the necessary hamstring tendon graft that January.

I worked hard over the months after my surgery, and made “phenomenal progress” in regaining strength and flexibility in my knee.  Less than six months after they cut me open, I had completed my first triathlon.  I was playing ultimate frisbee again (with a brace) for the first time in over a year, and training to compete in another triathlon.  Then during an ultimate frisbee club practice this September, after going up for a disc, someone landed on the outside of my right knee and knocked it out to the inside.  Like the time before, I heard a pop in my knee, and immediately went down.

It’s been over a month, and I can still feel a considerable amount of ‘looseness’ in my knee.  I hold out no hope that it’s anything but a tear.  I’ve already got an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon over Thanksgiving, expecting that I’ll be having surgery over Christmas break for the second time in two years.

I’ve come to terms with all this, but every time I think about it, I think back to the evening when I mocked some of my favorite adults, lauding my “20-year-old knees.”  I’m not sure if I believe in karma or God or a benevolent force watching over all of us, but I do believe in treating others the way you want to be treated, and I can’t help but think I deserved this.  My friends merited more consideration and respect than that remark gave them, for even though they were enjoying themselves, the main reason they were there was for us.  It was a “dick move” and I know that now.  I hope to learn from all this, working to make myself a better, stronger, more compassionate person.  And hopefully, if I stay true to myself, I’ll never be in another unfortunate situation where I’m thinking “I had this coming.”

I need to start randomly talking to people more often.  it makes my outlook on the state of the world improve to know that given a bit of kindness, most people will reciprocate in kind.  on the same note, I continue to find that nothing makes me feel quite as good making other people's days better, if ever so slightly. 

a guy randomly struck up a conversation with me at a gas station in lenexa as I was on my way out to manhattan.  I had my bike on a rack fixed to the back of the explorer, when he inquired whether or not the sock placed over the pedal was there for 'esthetic value.'  I explained how I'd rather the metal pedal not scratch the car or end up through the back windshield, and ended up talking to the man for about 5 minutes about myself, biking, and school.  it was nice to pleasantly make small take with a perfect stranger for no reason, simply to remind oneself that there are kind, good natured people still out there.

about two weeks ago tim, cat, jaime, and I embarked on a trip to the royal's game, and we left early enough with tickets in-hand that it was decided there would be pregame drinking.  since cat's under 21, and we don't condone underage drinking, we were content to let her drive while we drank in the car on the way there (we apparently do condone the breaking of open container laws).  I was in the backseat with a cooler stocked with beer within arm's reach, when we pulled through the drive-thru window at backyard burgers.  the lady over the intercom was kinda grouchy and seemed to be having a rough time, so when we pulled up to the window, I rolled down mine and stated "sounds like you're having a bad day." 
"that I am," (or whatever the equivalent is that a fast food worker who doesn't talk like me might say) she replied.
"how would you like a beer?" I ask as I pull out a beer from the goody bag behind me.
"I don't know..."
"come on."
"the boss is gone for the day.  and that is my partner's favorite kind..."
"here, take two then."
so we left her with a smile, and from the look on her face, I think we made a serious impact on her day.  such is the power of a little spontaneous kindness... and beer.

I guess in conclusion, I'm going to start going out of my way even more than my boy scout allotted "one good turn daily" to see how many people I can positively impact in an hour, day, week, and so on, if for no other reason to see some people who didn't anticipate it, smile unexpectedly. 

Also: the world really needs a beer fairy

just got done umpiring the 18 & under world series for fast pitch here in shawnee, and I'm really happy with how things turned out.  in my last game of the morning, we got through 6 and a half innings in 50 minutes, and left the game with the impression that both teams thought I was one of the best umps they've had all weekend.  it's always a great feeling when you can leave a field, and both teams and coaches are happy with how it was called.  it's hard to explain, but I just felt really awesome this morning, and it kinda makes me sad that I'm done for the year.

anywho, I'll be heading out for manhattan shortly, and hopefully I won't break down crying when I step foot in our house.  though I probably will.  shit.  so I'll be in manhattan through at least tuesday afternoon, and everyone is more than welcome to join me here.  peace out.

woot.  i went from knee surgery

to triathlon

in under 6 months.

thanks so much to my "fans" (ashley, jaime, ann, and sushant), i really appreciate you guys cutting some sleep out of your sunday and coming out to support me, it meant a lot.  also, i can't thank cam jacques enough for letting me borrow his awesome road bike.  i was actually racing a bike that could reasonably have a higher value than my car.

my total time was around 1 hour, 2 minutes, and being that this was my first triathlon ever, i'm very pleased with how i did.

on the whole, it was a very rewarding experience, and i've decided that i would like to do another one.  if you're interested and/or want someone to train with, let me know, i'd love to have someone to do this with. 

and thanks again to everyone who came out to see and support me.  i owe you guys.

okay, one last announcement.  at 7 am on the morning of july 9th i will be participating in the shawnee mission park triathlon.  it will be my first triathlon, and people are more than welcome to come watch.  so far i have spectator confirmations from miss ashley frazer and miss jaime scherrer, and i'm sure they'd love to have more company. 

after the race, there will be a pancake breakfast which for spectators will cost $3, and should hopefully be filling.  so even if you cant make the race, you can hang out afterwards. 

saturday, i plan to be carbo-loading in the evening, so i'm planning on fixing a big pasta meal.  since my family is out of town, if you want to join me, let me know and we'll have a dinner party. 

ps. if you come, bring a camera.  if you don't have one, you can borrow mine.  with my family out of town, all pictorial documentation will rely on le spectators.

pps. parking will be in theatre in the park's parking lot.  they will be running buses from the lot to the course/transition area from 5:30 to 6:45.  after 6:45 it will be hard to get in being that they are going to shut the road down for the race.